Family

After spending sometime alone last week, I was abruptly thrown back into a world filled with people - that's right; home.  Now I must admit, I don't usually like going home. I love my family dearly, but I think we are all very similar yet entirely different simultaneously. I guess most families are like that though, right?


Now, I don't have a huge family. I have two older brothers, and three cousins. All older. I mean I have a big extended family, but I don't know most of them. We all live in Virginia or Maryland. No one through the generations ventures far from the nest. My maternal grandparents were from Hagerstown/ Thurmont, Maryland and My paternal grandparents from Strasburg, Virginia. My parents both grew up in Arlington (they were high school sweethearts - actually, quite a good story, ask me about it sometime). Now we live in McLean. See, literally the apples do not fall from the tree. (This is funny too because my family used to own apple orchards in Maryland- ha!)


Anyways, I am the youngest; the baby of the family. I'm also a girl, which without doing my gender or family too much injustice, is a pretty sweet deal. I remember growing up, I almost always got what I wanted and was given attention and showered with praise.
Now I do have two older brothers. That was to my advantage and disadvantage. Without them I doubt I would have learned what protection, caring kindness, and genuine compassion looks like. But with them, I had to deal with pranks, provoked meltdowns, and farts/burps/generally ickyness. I know it was all in jest and has made me a stronger woman as a result. No one knows my peeves and irks better than Ryan and Matthew.


People always ask if I am close with my brothers and I never know how to answer exactly. While I love them deeply and they love me, we are definitely not the type of siblings who readily share the details of our days with each other. A phone call from them would seem strange, like it would only be prompted by family emergency or something. I think this has to do with our age differences. Ryan and Matthew are in a different life time than me. Ryan works for a technology company and did not go to college and while Matthew did go to college, He has autism. I don't consider any of those things hindrances and not even barriers to our communication, but it just shapes things a little differently. It gives our relationship a different color, unlike any other relationship I have with friends and even other members of my family.


It is not always easy, infact in recent years it has been incredibly trying.You'd think that since my family has always stayed in close proximity to each other for many, many years, we are this super close and tight-knit family. That my family is oozing with kindness and respect; that we are so sweet is it gives you a tooth ache. OK, maybe your impression wasn't that sweet, but while my family is deeply loving, we have not been conflict free or without hurt. If anything, my time with them can be tense and feel insincere. This, at times, tramples my hope for any future with reconciliation. 


But when I think about it, I always end up coming back to my faith; my belief in the Lord's sovereignty. He makes no mistakes and He has placed me right where I am with my family. The timing is perfect and the conditions are always right, regardless of what my feelings tell me. I have faith in His healing of brokenness. All I need to do is keep praying, waiting, and watching for His redemptive work.